THE REASONS WHY I WON.....



# Because I am the local & you can all F@*# off !!!

# Because I took the hippy & Miller Wakeboarding in the boil ups & they got smashed....

# Because the only time I went kiting was when I stole Gavins gear ( I did ask his girlfriend Brad & she said yes. ) & I kited like an ass - Downwind unhooked blunders, switchin to Blind half-arsed fumbles.
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# Because I was the barbeque faggot.

# Because Gavin always wins & thats too boring.

# Because the hippy is good at kitelooping - but he is a tweaker.

# Because Miller is a tow in surfer at Orewa.

# Because Murrell has sniffed too much C.D. cleaner in the past.

# Because Perin is actually Osama Bin Kiting.

# Because Ians looking fine with some unhooked manouevers but 6 mnths ago he wouldnt shut up about his board-offs & they are for twiddlers.

# Because I missed most of the 2nd days kiting cos I converted the hippy to islam & got him to post himself on this sad excuse for a website where a bunch of heathens bitch & moan about where learners can & cant go kiting & people say stuff like Why do we have to bunch? All you need to do is look at a map of Auckland.... They just want to show off to all the learners.... Look lets just get facts straight, I came in at 3:23 & ate a banana.

# Because I got to use the beach without having to blow the guy from Blow me.

# Because I told yas to get your sorry arses down here & that it would be kitable, & only the true believers came as per usual ... What a poor turn-out from the Auckwakkas....

Go Hard or go home!!!!

Aha - I note that despite your protestations to the contrary, you have indeed revisited the kiteforum Sky-stroker.

Despite the inbred local's claims to the title, I feel the only true victor could have been myself:

# Because the better genetics of city folk should be recognised.

# Because the winner should be the one who had the most sessions over the weekend, regardless of his level of incompetence on the water. I believe that unquestionably is myself, having kited Takapuna Saturday morning for 30 minutes until an inept kiteloop blew out 2 lines leading to a 200 metre swim, joining the crew in the Raglan estuary for another 30 minute session where I unfailingly got in Armie's way, the photo shoot session on Sunday where another 30 minutes of epic downwind riding resulted in few photo opportunities, another blast for 15 minutes later on that comprised one uncommanded jump where my board was left behind and I came to rest 50 metres downwind of it, and finally a 30 minuter at Takapuna getting my arse kicked on a 10 metre kite just before dark.

# Because I knew that if I told the crazy-eyed local he couldn't steal Gavin's kite, he would lock me up in one of his cellars, rename me Bubba, and have his merry way with me until the next unsuspecting Jaffa wandered along ( I suspect Armie has already had this treatment).

Yours in sophistication.

The fox

As I conducted the sole independant survey of all in attendance and statistically proved beyond all doubt that a clear majority of eligable voters concurred: that the "aerial fireworks fumble with simultaneous ass and ankle grab" is without doubt the most unexpected and technical manouvre witnessed in modern history.

Thus giving Hippy all honors on offer at this prestigeous event. End of story...

PS. foxy-lady is obviously still suffering from those 70's flash backs, and the sky-walker-crawler looses due to the continual and blatant weather fibs and hassling the ak crew (who stayed home scoring cranking sessions). They were in fact the only sane people. Again this is proven by the simple facts that after a virtually fruitless weekend of debauchery I am now wounded and grounded for the entire forseeable future...

Although claiming the title with said bone singing orbit of the sun does compensate to a minor degree...

f - off with all my heart

Good morning my brethren and a big Lee from Anabatic F*&K ya! as a salutary greeting of favor and good luck.
Firstly let me state quite clearly I am neither Perrin nor Kent on any of the furry footed wee hobbits that frequent their glue drenched work shop.
Why is there this terrible need to hunt me down all my desert life the Bush has tried to find me as has the shaved muff but I have stayed loyal to Hazel, and her furry hump is all I desire.
The offering of poultry rewards for my capture is a weak and saddening effort however should I turn myself in a night of fun and frolic could be well worth of revelation of my persona consider upping the recompense and we will give it due deliberation.

On a more somber note tis my hope and all those of us here at the oasis, that the BBQ foot of the hippy will soon be healed and his efforts of log climbing improve.
Blessing on you and yours and as Lee from Anabatic would yell (as he gave beginners lessons on the motorway or the veggie section of Foodtown) f*&K OFF!! Allah loves you all.

hippy! stop screwing around on the net and bring me back my phone. my life has become even more random and fruitless without it, just when i'm trying to purge your irresponsible, reckless, holistic highwayman influences and snap back into the brutal realities of my doomed situation.

mahalo.

Shaan is Osama

Firstly Foxy;

Lets clear things up a little, you should get your facts a little more twisted before you you go off half-cocked on the net...

How can you knock things until you have tried them?!! Look at the picture of the hippy & you may see the the enlightenment that can be achieved whilst experimenting with the art of sexual ecstasy....

Until recently I too had a blockage - I was anti-pant. Now, with some stamping around the room & declarations ( such as haaagh! & nngghhgghhh! ) I am setting up for production of said items of unneccesary apparrell....

Also I have, just yesterday during a wild gyration of the mundial fundament, affirmed my mixed complexity by sleeping with my ex-wife the pole surf-bitch.... She beat me mercilessly, but I still knew where to put it & the places to caress to achieve the ultimate - pole + board + orgasm .... I know Ive said it before ,but Ill say it again, I wont do that again in a hurry.... The guilt that you will try to heap upon my shoulders will be great, but it is a burden I cannot forebear....

So next time you see a mixed-breed wanting to have his way with you& take your boyfriends kite; Do not shrivel in fear & constrict your vital corpuscles....

Do not run away to your rat-infested city of congestion & foolishly post your slanderous vitriol upon the web....

To you my friend the Foxy lady:

A big Lee-from-anabatic F@#% you C@%# !!!
Interpereted by Osama-bin-kiting to mean, I like you my friend, you have the look of our place of pleasure.

sean: hmmm.

luke: many tweaked out conspiracy weeners in the past have insinuated that besides holding down 7 jobs and trying to go kiting once in a while, i am also various fugitives from the law - BLOWNAWAY etc - now OBK?

in fact i am on a crusade to smoke the evildoer out of his cave and have recently approved extra funding to run covert operations, to disrupt and surveil his organisation and freeze his assets (by dripping liquid nitrogen on all his wetsuits). specifically i have authorised secret aid to the northern alliance, who are in a constant battle with our most wanted terrorist and the tele-tubbies that have provided him refuge these past few years.

my agents have also been working on a pilotless drone, capable of suddenly flying downwind and tangling everything in it's path and are waiting for the perfect moment to deploy this terrific weapon in The War Against Tripe (T.W.A.T.)

when bad man #1 is finally brought in dead or trussed up in a gimp suit you will see t'was he not me, that has unleashed the dogs of war, and when i've finished with him, no doubt lee will want to unleash his gerbils all over him.

till then, try saying this over and over:

i'm not the pheasant plucker, i'm the pheasant plucker's son - i'm only plucking pheasants till the pheasant plucker comes.

selah and mahalo.

Finding out who is who on the net is not as hard as you think
I install software on all my domains to monitor who looks at my websites..
I know their IP, what time they were on my site and from what country.
I also have their full computer specs. I have other software that traces them down to their service provider and location, not to mention what CD they have in the CD drive !!

You should be able to match IPs and work out a pattern.

Once you have their IP.. well the world is your oyster..

Changing your IP is easy... but you can still work it out.

You missing the point, you clever dick

What is the point Hubert?

maybe the point is that he doesn't care who osama is

or he knows and he's not telling because it's funnier if he stays anonymous


doof

On my honour, the Sky-smoker will never be let anywhere near my places of pleasure. He has admitted to swinging both ways in his pursuit of wind powered ecstasy and therefore cannot be considered a true disciple of that ultimate sport; the sport of kings; the only game in town..... Kiteboarding.

Instant disqualification from the ranks of Raglans' competitors is the only possible consequence. I hereby submit to the organising committee [errmm Gavin?] Sky-broken be struck from the list.

Osama bin-drinking will never be traced over the net unless his modem is permanently affixed to Hazel's hump -and from the sounds of things there is no way the towel-headed one would jeopardise the fine lines of his one and only hump. Hubert's point I believe is that you never mess with another mujahideen's camel or his means of telling the world about said love interest.

Aloha guys,

How's it going down there in the deep south of New Zealand?

I have been following this forum for quite some time... it has me in stitches one minute and angry the next. But overall... I like what I read.

If anyone does find out who Osama is... please ask him to contact me! As I would love to sponsor him and have him join our next road trip we are doing with the team?

Or Osama please make contact with the Naish rep Earl Berry and he will forward you on my contacts.

Please note you would be paid a fair price for the big reveal or we could your true identity covered? Your call...

Kite hard

And much aloha!!!


Robby

Word around the campfire is that he is already heavily involved with the BEST mafia?

Amazing how far the states are prepared to go to flush out one man and his camel toe.

Mr Naish.

Are you for real... or are you taking the lords name in vain? If so you shall be dealt with in the fires of a Taranaki hell close out.

We here in the land of frequent but fickle wind have a single question to determine your bona-fide status...

What was your exact expression (of the inner turmoil) during the free-style final of your only riding appearance, in a Mangawhai Red Bull???...

and at what wind speed did Don maintain his 50 metre kite session???

Aloha and Mahalo

that's two questions hippy!

here's another that only mr. bob could answer in any kind of meaningful way.

who do you vote for in the U.S. elections, when you have a choice between a fellow windsurfer, and actual kiteboarder, a kindred spirit and occasional Hawaiian - a patriot, warrior and follower of the wind and waves - an international citizen like yourself?

or, a role model for rednecks everywhere - a lover of guns, explosions, fast cars, executions and torture - a known draft dodger, environmental rapist and war criminal - an absolute disgrace, whose republican administration, amongst other crimes against humanity mocks our sports as 'elitist' wastes of time?

Slivering fox:

Know you can never discount the local & if you do it will be to your detriment. The episode you refer to as being grounds for dismissal was merely a small transgression due to a gusty 40 - 50 kts with heavy chop from here to africa...

Aside from flying H.G. surfing, skating & infrequently banging the Poleish madam; I am faithfully following your one true god....

Hippy:

Do not stoop to idolatry... The only individual identity we need to verify, to seek out & capture, kill or commend is O.B.K.....



We do not need this false god, this american capatalist dog. With his sweet murmurings of road trips & nubile young groupies, he is trying to lure our beloved O.B.K. away. We who have only just come to understand bin-kitings value, are about to lose him to the Naish marketing machine & they will take his ideas & make them directionally biased....

O.B.K:

I promise not to hunt for you my friend, if & only if, you stay true to your fellow countrymen & keep us pissing ourselves with your postings...

Yours unsophisticatedly, SeanO Skyrider

Brethren a big loving F*&K Yaaaaaa!!!! echoes down the beach of enlightenment. As I stand beneath the shadows of the Best kites of brother Lee learners class here at the bottom of the Civic Car Park. I am brought to Arabian tears by the loving show by our brethren here at the forum. There was a time when I was banned even from this happy forum on a daily basis. But the ear burned fowl legged one seems to have seen the error of his ways and has turned towards the light of true camel love.

Fear not I will not be lured by the thought of Robbie, riches and large breasted young women, with tight buttocks- I am loyal to the sands and wind of this fair country. And as Hazel my only true hump- snuggles her warm but damp muzzle to my fluffy buttocks I can only feel a sense of warmth and dripping towards you all.

Brethren when you see each other at the wind blown beaches remember to yell a rousing F*&K Yaaaa!!!! to those kindred spirits and if you see our brother Lee teaching in the meat section of Foodtown give him plenty of room and buy your chops another day.

Butt-rider:

Barring an unexpectedly alcoholic evening this merry Friday, I will endeavour to once again visit your small village in pursuit of the outgoing tide. An early rise Saturday morning will see me your way maybe 9am to observe whether you do indeed follow the Sport of Kings (or in your case Queens).

OBK for President of the Orewa branch of the NZ Tow-in Surfing Organisation.