Hi to all my subscribers,



This issue we go in depth with the seedy kiter world, probing the underbelly of a craven idol....
Episode #1 of the Freeride exceeded our wildest dreams despite the poor turnout (good having just the 12 apostles,the true believers.).
A wake session with the Miller & the Hippy started the ball rolling, glassy boil-ups with a strong outgoing tide & N.E. The hippy was classic with some heavy face plants his wetsuit self-destructed around his hairy body (see the back section for tips on back-sack & crack grabs.)

I thought they were winding me up when they started hooting & saying Gavin was boosting up at the camp-ground.... but for true e hoa, there was broadbent boosting bananas like his nana, in a shallow channel.

The session that followed proved that if you listen to the locals you will reap the rewards...

Apres boost activities...

When the barbie arrived in perfect time all freeeloaders clapped their hands with joy, as food arrived from all quarters simultaneously.

After being force-ably evicted from the campground for an array of offences, we found Raglans red light district and settled in. Brad dissapeared into a lovely bit of bush, proudly announcing his discovery of a seriously significant structure appearing like an hallucination from his hayday in the 70s...

The Hippy held forth and was lucky to not be crucified on said signifricanrt structure or loose any of his copious body hair while naked fire dancing.

As Kent wisely summised -the bigger the hangover Stronger the wind!!!

The hunt for Osama-bin-kiting is now officially on.... Wanted. Captured. Killed or Knighted ...Reward is one full session night with Brad & his superstructer .

I - Armie Armstrong a.k.a 'Hippy' would like to state in no uncertain terms that I am not Osama, though if I were, this is what i would speak:

The thing about kiting is; "Just like life, everyone is an individual" . Paul H obviously has some sort of blockage that can only be sorted with inner healing. I have consulted all appropriate star charts and the numbers state the immediate adminstration of a good quality anal healing massage as demonstrated by myself in my photo to the left.


8) :twisted: And if you think these are cool you may have no hope of redemption at all...

but enough kind words of grace and clarity...

Another word of wisdom: When fire walking acknowlede that if you roll with the tiger you will get bitten.

Peace love and mung beans my kittens. I hereby bestow all my sweetist vibes to every corpuscle in your wonderous beings being - ie.fuck the lot of ya! J'ton coup sec avec poin d'gravier...

My next chapter will include achieving enlightenment through sinultaneous board and kite orgasm.

Osama lives
I have a better hair cut than the Hippie

Should a night of disreputable entertainment with my 'structure' and I not appeal to the finder of Osama, an alternative may be had in the form of an Orewa tow-in surfing lesson from Mr Miller. The assembled half-baked crew were regaled with stories of his exploits in the huge surf that so regularly blesses that kitebeach-of-all-kitebeaches. One suspects these tales were created by under-employed nuerons as an aftereffect of consuming Armie's home brew.

A special prize must go to the hippy for demonstrating a front roll to toeside boost off a flaming log, complete with a transition in the burning embers. Photographic evidence of the repercussions of said boost are to be published in due course.

Wind&Kite Derek employed a camera with a lens capable of identifying STD's through clothing at sixty paces. Non-gynaecological shots are to be posted on the mag's website tomorrow.

Arrivaderci one and all, and may your armpits be infested with the fleas of a thousand camels. (Note: this salutation in no way implies I have any association with the fugitive rag-head Bin-Kiting)