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TOPIC: K-U-N-T

K-U-N-T 4 years, 9 months ago #15052

  • taz p
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Here is more info from Shane Murrell- I'm just the messenger.
Please note the sarcastic tone of the words and don't take it seriously (never know, people get upset easily now a day). This get together is obviously not recommended for kids and young teenagers!


Kiteboarding Unofficial National Titles K.U.N.T. (for short)
Rangiputa ( far North ) around November 16/17/18.

"
The event will be run a little differently from most, since we have already decided on a winner.
Lee will be awarded first prize (while there are many contenders for this prestigious title, all the judges and with the aid of a quick spot poll the decision was unanimous- Lee is a complete and utter K.U.N.T and is clearly the most deserving of the title. We will print Tees shirts that have the winners listed prior to competing and we have already engaged one of the countries top designers ( Richie otherwise known as the dwarf) who is going to come up with something that will no doubt become a collectors item. ( I suggest that you order one now before we run out ).

The event will be much more about drinking, whoring, swearing, smoking and bullshit than the savoury sanitised affairs we have become accustom to in the South Island. No sensitive stuck up KUNTS will be tolerated and in fact taking the piss will be celebrated. Cheating and lying is encouraged at every opportunity.
As is the case with organizing any event of this magnitude were busily sucking up to sponsors and are very confident that well have great support from the following enlightened organizations (deleted sponsors)
Our intention from the outset is to ban minorities Gays , Fags, Jews ,Homos , Muslims, Darkies (they know who they are - and in a lame attempt at being PC we wont list them here, however if you are concerned that you may not qualify for entry - ask Shane) and anyone else that we dont like. (Frenchies and there immediate families will be allowed of course as will Gingas but only because Adrian is a good KUNT.

Sadly the only way that we can pay the organizers is through entry fees so we plan to stagger the entry fee depending on how far the entrant has travelled from Auckland.
So breaking it down for Aucklanders it will be free and then the further that the entrant lives from Auckland the more that they will pay, with Orewa being the only exception. People from Orewa will pay a flat $200 ..(Were calling it Lee proximity tax (LPT) - we figure you cant live that close without some of it rubbing off on you!)
Outside of Auckland will be a flat $50 and South Islanders will pay $100 and a bit more for food and drink as we will have a local rate (Aucklanders) and a tourist rate. (Seems to work very well in the rest of the 3rd world). Still working on this as the entry fee will cover food at the event like the MAMBO.

As far as the format of the actual event which is yet to be finalised,

Free ride expression session ( Friday ..so if there late or drunk it wont matter to much)
Tricks and stuff

Down winder
Basically a free-for-all. No hard and fast rules (these make an event very cumbersome). Contestants can cheat in fact youre encouraged to! (There is currently some debate as to whether all contestants will be required to wear sexy lingerie or gimp masks - stay posted)

Slider
Burger Fuel is sponsoring slider construction (Mike is doing the hard hands on stuff)

Wake style tow cable
In case things get boring ( all sorted)

Thundercat racing
( bring your own thundercat or shag someone that has one but not Craig cause hes had his chest waxed and that s Gay or Little Richie cause hes a young boy and Gay behaviour wont be tolerated on the first day)

Wet Tee shirt competition
Pregnant women will be allowed to enter (This is our one and only attempt at being inclusive They also have large tits which gives them an unfair advantage but seeing that they cant drink and sleep around so much it gives them some opportunity to express themselves. Everyone attending will need to be familiar with Buffalo rules as they will be adhered to religiously.

A small point about equipment
This is the last event in which we will allow the use of C-kites (they are dangerous, ugly, perform poorly and youre deluded if you think you look cool riding one) you will however be restricted to a specifically cordoned off area somewhere like Orewa with the BEST kite users.
"


Re: K-U-N-T 4 years, 9 months ago #15055

  • thrasher
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a few points....

1) Putting all the c kiters in with the BEST groupies isn't gonna work out that well cos BEST groupies all use waroos which are not c kites.

2) I also suggest that East Aucklanders cos they tend to have more to do with Lee than those who live at Orewa also pay $200.

3) If you have manboobs can your enter the wet t shirt comp?

4) Will OBK be bringing hazel with him?

5) Are we actually gonna be doing any kitesurfing?

6) Lee is da national champ... so does that mean he gets automatic entry into the PKRA?

7) Is there gonna be a division for c quads? they sorta behave like a bow.
eastern beach hates my guts because i did a big crap in my wetsuit whilst out there kiting 6 years ago. That's why i'm the most unpopular kiter in NZ. Beast from da east reprazent mutha f#$$%@ers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: K-U-N-T 4 years, 9 months ago #15057

  • Derek T
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Soooo what does OBK have to say about all this?

Come forth oh great one..... come forth!

Your friend Lee has won kiteboardings biggest prize, you must have an opinion?

A big fark ya and give our love to Hazel

Re: K-U-N-T 4 years, 9 months ago #15064

  • kitecrazy
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Sounds the biz would be worth coming back for.......or not
if it's not blowing it sucks

Man Boobs. 4 years, 8 months ago #15086

  • Nessie
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Sorry mate. When he said there where no rules at this event he was correct, but the wet Tshirt comp is a seperate issue and that is strickly females so save your airfare. :wink:

Re: K-U-N-T 4 years, 8 months ago #15093

  • philth
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Sounds like a right bunch of bogan assholes, guess I'll fit right in.

Can claim my LPT back since I owned a Hellfish?
All Through With This Niceness And Negotiation Stuff
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